


Storyteller Extraordinaire

by emotionaltrinityfreak



Category: All Time Low (Band), Bandom, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Angel/Demon AU, Angels, Because why the fuck not?, Death, Demons, Fire, Gay, God - Freeform, Guardian Angel AU, Heaven, Heaven/Hell AU, Hell, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Multi, Poly, Polyamory, SO GAY, Satan - Freeform, Smut, Wow, all that shit, because hell, but anyway, but i guess that's up to you, but it's brief, bye, don't read this if you're religious, i can't tag things like a normal person, i just thought it was a nice concept, i made Paramore a group of polyamorous beings, if you've got a problem with that, let's see how it goes, lots of fire, okay, so i won't even try, the amount of fucking fire, the smut will happen on a flaming table, there will be smut, there's like nine bands in this, this fic will piss you off so much, this follows no religion whatsoever, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-26 05:29:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13851087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionaltrinityfreak/pseuds/emotionaltrinityfreak
Summary: When you die, you either go to heaven or hell. You go to hell, you get a choice: become a demon, or don’t. Most people choose not to, and end up being tortured for all eternity instead. You go to heaven, you just stay there for a while, happy as can be. After a few months, if God takes a liking to you, you get offered a position as an angel.Ryan? He’s the angel of a suicidal boy. Life wasn’t kind to him, and eventually he ended up in heaven. He became an angel after a few months, and somehow got to be the Head Guardian Angel. He didn’t let the title get to his head, though, and didn’t ever brag about the better looking set of wings he got.The job came with perks, but there were some things that couldn’t be escaped. For one thing, Ryan had to fix everything when a guardian gave their charge the wrong advice.Another thing: God decided to be a prick, and made him the only one qualified to go to hell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if i’m being honest, i don’t know what the fuck this is. my brain went crazy around like 2am a while back, and this shit happened. the whole ‘God, heaven and hell, religion’ thing? i don’t believe in it. but if you do, i don’t mean to offend you in any way, and you should probably turn back now, because all of this is a mess, and none of it follows any real religion.
> 
> this fic is essentially Vic telling his and Kellin’s kids a bedtime story. it will be written the way i write, but you can imagine Vic telling it his way.

Everything was absolutely perfect in the Quinn-Fuentes household. Vic and Kellin were relaxing on the couch in front of the television, mindlessly following what was on the screen. A rather ridiculous soap opera was on, and while Vic was lost in his own universe, Kellin was gaping at the scandal that ABC Soaps had put together.

 

“Vic! Rebecca has a twin!” he exclaimed, dragging his husband out of his mind.

 

“What?” Vic turned from his spot on the couch.

 

“Rebecca has a twin sister named Esmeralda, and Esme has been sleeping with Marc for the last five months!” Kellin explained.

 

“Marc is married to Rebecca, right?” Vic questioned.

 

“Yeah, but she convinced her sister, Esme, to take her place for five months so that she could catch them in bed, file for divorce, and get even more money than what she got when she married him.” Although Kellin didn’t like to admit it, the show was quite captivating.

 

“And Esme was in on it?”

 

“Yes! The twins were going to split the money.”

 

“That’s…” Vic stopped, going over what Kellin had said, “a really good plan. You don’t have a secret twin or anything, right?”

 

“None that I know of.” Kellin leaned back on the couch, checking the time. “It’s 8:15, we should be putting the twins to bed.” The two got up, walking up the stairs to their children’s bedroom.

 

“You think our kids would ever try something as crazy as what Rebecca and Esme are doing?” Vic asked, referring to the television series.

 

“Well, Victor, seeing as one of them has a penis, and the other does not, I seriously doubt it.” Kellin began. “But, it would cool.”

 

They entered the twins bedroom, and watched the siblings toss a ball across the room. “Vega, Joey, time for bed.” Kellin said, much to the kids’ despair.

 

“Dad, can’t we stay up later?” Vega asked, her brother nodding.

 

“Yeah, please? There’s no school tomorrow!” the younger twin chimed in.

 

Kellin shook his head. “Nope. There’s no school tomorrow, but we have to leave home early in the morning to go to your grandmother’s house.”

 

“Kells, I’m sure their Abuela won’t mind if they show up a little bit sleepy.” Vic took their side.

 

“You’re supposed to be advocating for more sleep! They’re seven!” Kellin reprimanded.

 

“We’re almost eight!” Joey exclaimed, much to Kellin’s disappointment.

 

“I’m not winning this, am I?” Kellin sighed, leaning against the wall. “Fine, it’s 8:20. You get twenty more minutes, but then, it’s bedtime. Got it?”

 

“Yes, Dad.” Joey and Vega droned.

 

“I was talking to your father.” Kellin deadpanned.

 

Vic laughed. “Everything will be fine, Kellin. We’ll carry them to the car tomorrow if we have to.”

 

 _“You’ll_ carry them to the car.” Kellin corrected.

 

 _“I'll_ carry them to the car. Go, watch your show. I’ll tell them a story or something.” Vic insisted. The children cheered at the mention of a story.

 

“Don’t make me regret this,” Kellin called as he exited the room.

 

“Tell us one we haven’t heard yet!” Joey requested.

 

“Okay, one you haven’t heard yet…” Vic thought about it. One came to mind. “Sure, I’ve got one for you guys.” he walked to the center of the room and sat down between the two beds. “Before we start, you guys can’t tell your father the story I’m going to tell you, okay? And you can’t repeat some of the words I say.”

 

Vega and Joey’s eyes widened in intriguement. “Okay.” They nodded.

 

“Good, Kells would kill me. Anyway, here we go.” Vic cleared his throat before launching into storytelling mode. “People always assume that Satan is the worst possible entity they could meet. They’re wrong. Satan is a very nice being. He fully supports equal rights, and while many believe that he is the polar opposite of God, this is untrue. He doesn’t strive for death and destruction, he’s actually quite nice. He just likes a little bit of chaos every now and then. The tale got twisted over time, however, and Satan is portrayed like some sort of… well, some sort of demon. So, how about I tell you the story of ‘The Second Satan’? How does that sound?”

 

The children smiled, they were all for it. Kellin, however, was not. He ran back into the room the second Vic finished the summary, recognizing the storyline. Vic had gotten drunk one night, grabbed his laptop, and had written the book, ‘The Second Satan’. He’d gotten published it on a whim, and it had somehow become a real fandom. Vic now had a career as an author, complete with fanfiction, fanart, and fangirls attacking him on social media, demanding sequels. Kellin had no problem with any of this, he simply didn’t want to get their kids invested in the book too early in their lives.

 

“Victor Vincent Quinn-Fuentes, don’t you dare!” he screamed, nearly crashing into the wall.

 

“Come on, Kellin, they’re going to read the book eventually! I might as well tell the story now.” Vic tried to reason with him.

 

“They’re children! Some of that stuff, it’s… mature.” Kellin stated.

 

“Not all of it! And they’re almost eight, they’re mature enough.” Vic shrugged it off.

 

“Vic. Flaming table.” Kellin reminded him.

 

Vic laughed from his spot on the carpet, looking up at his husband in disbelief. “I won’t tell them that part!”

 

“I don’t like this, Vic. I don’t like it at all.” Kellin pouted.

 

Vic stood up, placing a kiss on Kellin’s lips. “I promise I’ll skip the mature parts, and I’ll try not to use the exact language from the book.”

 

Kellin rolled his eyes. “We shouldn’t even be having this discussion!”

 

“Kells. Everything will be fine.” Vic grabbed his husband’s hips lightly, kissing him again as a source of reassurement.

 

“You’re kissing! That’s icky!” Vega exclaimed.

 

Kellin turned to their daughter. “Who told you kissing is icky?”

 

“Margaret from dance class.” she answered.

 

Kellin nodded. “Well, she’s right. Especially if you’re kissing an idiot like this one.” he poked Vic lightly in the shoulder.

 

“Go watch your soap opera, Kellin. I won’t corrupt the children.” Vic ushered him out.

 

“I’ll say it again, don’t make me regret this.” Kellin warned.

 

“We’ll be alright!” Vic sat back down, looking at the twins, their faces identical, with grins of anticipation decorating them. Vic cleared his throat again.

 

“Once upon a time…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, the first chapter is short, but don’t worry, you get to read the story too. if you’re reading this the day it was posted, then the next chapter should be up in a few hours.
> 
> give me comments, give me kudos, i’ll take it all. follow me on Tumblr, my username is emotionaltrinityfreak.
> 
> -Vinnie


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve met Kellic and their kids, now let’s get into the story.

“Once upon a time…”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Ryan sat up and stretched from where he was perched on Ritchie’s shoulder. Some may have found this a strange place to be, but for a guardian angel, this was normal. The stories were right, guardians were barely six inches tall, and rested on their charge’s shoulder. GAs had many powers, such as size distortion (they could change their size, as well as that of the objects around them), teleportation, and flight, which was made possible by the massive wings they had. 

 

Ryan surveyed his surroundings. From the looks of it, Ritchie was in her first period math class, which meant he had fallen asleep on her shoulder during her walk to school. He dropped onto her desk, observing her work. She was taking a test on parabolas. He looked up, giving her a small wave. Ritchie smiled and nodded at him. In a small flash of blue, he had left her desk. Every morning, GAs had to check the thoughts of those important to their lives. Ryan had already checked Ritchie and her parents, and now had to check her crush, and her past best friend. 

 

Ryan appeared on Casey’s desk. Casey was the girl Ritchie had liked since the beginning of the school year. Anyone could see why. Anyone except Ritchie, of course. She still struggled to admit to herself that she liked girls. That was why she had a guardian angel. Her internalized homophobia often looked like it would be the death of her.

 

Despite herself, Ritchie often found herself asking Ryan if she had a chance with Casey. Ryan couldn’t tell her, because while he could read minds, he couldn’t disclose personal information. Little did Ritchie know, Casey was bisexual, and wasn’t terribly opposed to the idea of a date with Ritchie. 

 

He checked her mind, and found the usual thoughts Casey had. She was usually thinking of her little sister, her grades, and her favorite songs. Today was no different. Ryan found countless Bring Me The Horizon lyrics floating around Casey’s mind.

 

Next was Jonathan, Ritchie’s past best friend. The two had been almost joined at the hip until high school. That was when Jonathan had come out as pansexual, resulting in a rift between the two. Ritchie was raised in a violently religious family, who were completely opposed to anything less than “What the Lord had planned for humanity”. 

 

Jonathan had come out to her while she still followed her parents’ religious and political views. She regretted ending their friendship every time she thought of him, but wouldn’t ever talk to him. 

 

Jonathan also had a GA. Gerard was seated on Jonathan’s desk, watching his charge answer the questions on his math test. The two grinned at each other. “You won’t believe what Jonathan’s going to do.” Gerard whispered excitedly. 

 

Ryan quickly checked Jonathan’s mind, as Gerard teleported across the room to check Ritchie’s. When he returned, Ryan looked at the red-haired angel in disbelief. Gerard simply nodded. “He's going to do it! At this point, he has to.”

 

The rest of the class period was rather normal. Ryan shrank one of Ritchie’s pens and drew the universe on a small part of her left arm. Every so often he would check her test answers, but he couldn’t tell if she was right or not. She was in grade eleven algebra, a class he hadn’t lived long enough to take.

 

Guardian angels were the souls of the dead, sent to Earth to help those in similar situations to the ones they were in. Ryan and Ritchie were quite alike, and no one wanted to see Ritchie end her life the way Ryan ended his. Ryan would do anything in his power to keep her alive. He didn’t want to go back to the life he had before, and he loved his life in heaven now, but he could never really figure out if he regretted giving himself the deadly scars on his wrist.

\--

Ritchie was seated with her lunch tray, poking at her salad. Ryan sat on her shoulder, looking at Gerard and Jonathan. His eyes widened as Jonathan stood up and walked towards Ritchie. Both Ryan and Gerard knew what was about to happen, and they were praying it didn’t go wrong. They sat silently on their charges’ shoulders, watching Jonathan say the words that ended their feud.  


“Ritch, I miss you.”

  
Ritchie stood, and they both walked to the corner of the cafeteria. The GAs watched wordlessly, their charges needed no advice from them.

 

With a short conversation and a few tears, a friendship had been restarted.

\--

The day had come and gone, and it was almost eleven at night. That was when guardians were brought back to heaven. They would begin to fade with a light green glow, and after about a minute, they would be gone. Ryan and Ritchie were sprawled on her bedroom floor, discussing absolutely nothing of importance to anyone but themselves. They had spoken about Ritchie and Jonathan’s friendship, but she had simply waved it off, saying that everything would be alright. From the looks of it, she was right. 

 

Ritchie was much better than she had been when she was first assigned to Ryan, even if she still had some ways to go. Ryan wasn’t just her therapist, he was also her friend. She had closed herself off to everyone after her loss of touch with Jonathan, and had no one to hold on to. Ryan had become that person, and now that Jonathan was coming back, she might have him as well.

 

The clock said 10:47, but Ryan’s hand began to dissipate into small green orbs of light, much to his confusion. He normally left thirteen minutes later, and he was disappearing much faster than usual. His arm was fully gone in just two seconds, and the rest of his body going too. He said his goodbyes to Ritchie, and sighed worriedly as the last of him disappeared, and he returned to heaven.

\--

When he got back, Ryan automatically knew something was wrong. He was surrounded by confused-looking GAs, all of whom were staring at him expectantly. He was the Head Guardian Angel, but he didn’t know what was going on. GAs were yelling in confusion, and Ryan couldn’t calm them down. A flash of emerald light signaled them to stop speaking, and they obliged. A disembodied voice boomed, just as they expected.

 

“Ryan, BJA needs to see you.”

 

Once again, all eyes were on Ryan as he teleported to the throne room. Once there, he was greeted by a familiar sight: a green-eyed entity atop the throne, staring right at him.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Kellin re-entered Joey and Vega’s bedroom. “It’s been twenty minutes, time for bed!”

 

The twins groaned as Vic stood up. “He’s right, you guys.”

 

“Can’t he at least finish this part?” Joey asked, looking up at Kellin.

 

“No he can not.” Kellin said, leaning over Joey and giving the boy a kiss on the head. “You need sleep.” He did the same to Vega, then stood at the door while Vic tucked them in.

 

“Good night.” Vic said, turning off the main light, turning on the night light, and closing their door.

 

Vic turned and looked at Kellin. “So you think kissing is icky?” he asked, pushing his husband up against the wall.

 

“When it’s with you, yes.” Kellin challenged.

 

“If I laid you down on a _ flaming table _ and fucked you hard and fast, made you scream my name, would you change your mind?” Vic growled.

 

Kelling gasped at the words ‘flaming table’. “Jesus fuck, Vic. You’re crazy.” He couldn’t deny how sexy he found Vic in that moment, however.

 

Vic smirked, and began to mouth at Kellin’s neck. Kellin bit his lip to keep from moaning. He wrapped his legs around Vic’s waist and Vic carried him to the dining room, setting him down on the table. “We might not have anything on fire, so this will just have to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys don’t get the the flaming table thing yet, but you will. yes, it’s sexual. i don’t know how much i’m going to include Vic and Kellin in this, but they’ll be there at the beginning and end of each chapter for sure.
> 
> give me comments, give me kudos, i’ll take it all. follow me on Tumblr, my username is emotionaltrinityfreak.
> 
> -Vinnie


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The green-eyed entity atop the throne of heaven.

It was ten in the morning, and the sky was a beautiful shade of crystalline blue. Vic hadn’t hesitated to compare the color of the sky to Kellin’s eyes.

 

“They just… they  _ collide with the sky,  _ Kells.” Vic was always a romantic.

 

The Quinn-Fuentes family had just begun a long drive to Vic’s mother’s house. As Kellin had predicted the night before, Vic had to carry Joey and Vega to the car.

 

They were about three hours away from their destination when the twins woke up, requesting a continuation of “The Second Satan”. Kellin had complained, but he knew that when Vic started telling a story, he wouldn’t stop until the reader was satisfied.

 

“Alright, where did I leave off?” Vic asked.

 

“The green-eyed entity!” Joey reminded him.

 

Vic nodded. “That’s right. Let’s get back to the story, then…”

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

**Previously on: Storyteller Extraordinaire:**

 

_ ‘Once again, all eyes were on Ryan as he teleported to the throne room. Once there, he was greeted by a familiar sight: a green-eyed entity atop the throne, staring right at him.’ _

_ \-- _

Ryan bowed slightly, his brown hair shifting in front of his face.

 

“Skip the professionalism, Ryan! We’ve got a problem to solve.”

 

Ryan stood up, sighing. As head GA, he was constantly being called upon by God to fix the messes other GAs made. “What happened this time?”

 

God shrugged, shifting his gaze toward the far wall. Ryan turned and saw Patrick, a fellow GA. Patrick was by far one of the best, and Ryan couldn’t understand how he had caused any sort of issue.

 

“Pat, do you want to tell him?” God asked, not giving Patrick much of a choice.

 

The shorter angel shifted his weight from foot to foot, before inhaling deeply. “My charge committed murder.” he announced, to Ryan’s surprise.

 

“You mean Pete? He killed someone?” Ryan shook his head, “That’s not possible. _ He’s Pete. _ ” Ryan knew Patrick’s charge, and murder didn’t seem like something he would do.

 

“It’s true.” the green-eyed entity announced, leaning back in his throne. “Now, Patrick,” he began, “I don’t know what to do with you. At all. Because you are an amazing guardian angel. You helped your charge through his addiction, and saved his life countless times. But you also made him kill.”

 

Ryan cut in. “But how is this Pat’s fault?”

 

“I…  _ may  _ have told him to do it.” Patrick said quietly, much to Ryan’s dismay. 

 

“What? ‘Trick, what the hell?” Ryan was in shock. Patrick was the model GA, yet there they were, discussing an action that could get Patrick stripped of his wings.

 

“Hey, no, cursing!” God scolded. “This is heaven.”

 

Two voices called back from behind the throne, in perfect sync. “You curse more than anyone else here!” the voices were Tr é and Mike, God’s ‘second in command’. They sat at a desk behind the throne, answering prayers, scheduling the green-eyed entity’s appointments, and maintaining spirits’ files. The two always spoke at the same time, and always said the same words. It wasn’t intentional, it was simply the result of spending eternity working at the same desk. They enjoyed it, though, and never complained about their job.

 

“Yeah, but I’m God.” Billie Joe retorted.

 

Patrick smiled softly, knowing that the two had called God out in order to make him feel better. Nonetheless, he knew what he had done, and hoped that it was a problem that could be solved. “So, is there anything we can do? I mean, I’m getting my wings stripped either way, but I want to fix this first.” Patrick sighed.

 

“Hey, don’t say that. We’ll figure something out.” Ryan tried to reassure him.

 

“We can’t fix this. Pete already killed him. There’s still a chance you can keep your wings. We just have to assess the situation.” God said.

 

Tré and Mike spoke up again, “The spirit of Mikey Way should be here shortly.” They had the time to announce each and every death, as time went by slower in heaven. There was always at least half an hour between each passing.

 

Ryan’s face went pale. “Mikey Way?”

 

The shorter GA nodded, fighting back tears.

 

“No. Absolutely not. He didn’t. Pete didn’t.” Ryan failed to wrap his head around the idea that Mikey Way was dead. Mikey was Gerard’s brother. After Gerard had died, he’d fought to be able to visit him. The angels called the case _ Gee v. The Higher Power.  _ Gerard had argued with all the deities he could find. Thanks to him, angels could visit their loved ones as spirits. They could do so for twenty minutes each week. Ryan didn’t have any loved ones while he was alive, so he hadn’t tried it, but it sounded wonderful. Gerard was Ryan’s best friend, and while Gerard would get to be with his brother again, Ryan knew that Gerard wouldn’t be expecting to see Mikey so soon.

 

Patrick began glancing around the room nervously. At any moment, Mikey would appear, and with him, and Gerard was sure to be close behind. “Mikey is Gee’s brother, and Gee could find out any second, so he’s going to kill, me, but he can’t do that, because I’m already dead. He’s going to kill me again, which means I’m going to get hit by a truck again,” Patrick began going into hysterics. “I don’t want to get hit by a truck again, Ryan! You don’t understand what getting hit by an eighteen-wheeler feels like--”

 

“Calm down, Patrick. There’s nothing we can do for Mikey, going crazy won’t help.” God silenced him. “He’s heaven-bound, so you can’t avoid him, and I don’t want to lose you as a GA, but we can’t just put you back on the job.”

 

“What will you do to Pete?” Patrick asked. At this point, tears were streaming down his face.

 

God shook his head. “We can’t do anything to Pete until he dies.” After death, spirits were evaluated by a council of angels and demons.

 

Patrick drew in a deep breath. “What will you do to me?”

 

“I have to have a discussion with Satan about that.” Billie Joe stated. To do anything large-scale, both God and Satan had to agree on it. Normally, when a charge committed a crime, the angels didn’t do too much. This was because most of the time, the GA had tried their best to stop the charge from acting out. However, if the GA didn’t take action, or _ caused  _ the crime, it was a different story. The last time this had happened was almost a century before.

 

The room was bathed in a blue light, one that signaled the arrival of a spirit. A tall boy appeared, with a head of dirty blond hair, and hazel eyes that matched his older brother’s. He wore a grey hoodie and jeans, both of which had bloodstains on them. He had a look of confusion on his face, one that was soon replaced with horror. His hand flew to his stomach as he searched for a wound.

 

Billie Joe cleared his throat, and the boy looked up. “Mikey Way?” the green-eyed entity asked.

 

The boy nodded, eyes wide.

 

“You are dead.” He said the words carefully, as they usually caused hysterical tears, anger, or both.

 

Mikey scoffed, his demeanor quickly changing from scared to annoyed. “Yeah, I know, my best friend fucking stabbed me, said an angel told him to.” Patrick wailed from his spot in the room. Mikey turned to see Patrick on the floor in tears. Ryan knelt next to him, attempting to console his friend. “What is this place?”

 

“You are in heaven.” Billie Joe announced.

 

Mikey’s eyes widened at that. “Heaven?” the green-eyed entity nodded. “Is… is Gee here?”

 

The green-eyed entity smiled softly. “Yes. Your brother is here.”

 

With those words, there was a quick flash of blue light, and Gerard appeared in the throne room. “Mikey.”

 

The younger Way brother turned around. “Gee.”

 

They all but ran to each other, hugging as they met in the middle. 

 

Gerard sobbed into his brother’s shoulder. “How are you here?”

 

“I’m dead,” Mikey laughed despite himself, tears streaming down his face.

 

“I saw you this morning, Mikes, you were fine!” Gerard pulled away. “What happened?”

 

Mikey sighed, “Pete… Pete stabbed me.”

 

“What?” Gerard shook his head. “Pete? He’s your best friend!”

 

Mikey shrugged. “He said an angel told him to do it.”

 

“An angel?” Gerard’s face went white. 

 

Mikey nodded. “You’re a guardian angel, or whatever, so I guess he has one too. Apparently, his hates me.”

 

“You’re right.” Gerard connected the dots. “He does have an angel. And I know who it is.” he looked at God. “BJA, can you summon Patrick for me?”

 

Billie Joe pointed to the back of the room, where Patrick had wrapped himself in his wings. As Gerard walked over to Patrick, God waved Mikey over for the standard, _ ‘you’re in heaven, don’t fuck it up’  _ speech.

 

“Patrick? I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to talk.

 

Patrick lowered his wings, and Ryan stepped away to let the two have their conversation.

 

“Did you tell Pete to kill my baby brother?” Gerard asked calmly.

 

Patrick nodded.

 

“How? How did you convince his best friend to kill him?” Gerard asked.

 

“I told… ” Patrick’s voice faltered. “I told him it was God’s will.” he whispered.

 

Gerard shut his eyes, wishing it was a dream. “Why?”

 

Patrick looked down, breathing deeply before answering. “Because I’m in love with Pete.”

 

The throne room went silent. Everyone turned to look at Patrick. Tré and Mike rolled out from behind their desk on their office chairs, unsure what to do or say. Billie Joe looked away from Mikey and gaped. Gerard was the only one who continued to speak.

 

“You killed my brother because you were jealous of a relationship he wasn’t even in?” Gerard put it as more of a statement than a question.

 

“Yes.” Patrick cried, falling to the ground.

 

Gerard looked down at him coldly. “Okay.” With that, he disappeared from the room.

\--

No one had seen Gerard since he’d confronted Patrick, and no one expected to. Patrick was being held in the throne room, as was Mikey. It was a bit of a trial, in a manner of speaking, as Patrick was being held responsible for the murder. Despite the situation, Ryan wasn’t very worried about Gerard’s whereabouts. He knew exactly where he’d be, and took his time getting there.

 

There was a cliff in heaven, one that Gerard sat on often. When jumped off of, the cliff led to an area that the angels had dubbed Cloud Nine. To a soul, Cloud Nine was a floating patch of light, but to angels, it was a solid platform.

 

Recently, Cloud Nine had turned into a bit of a construction site. Two angels, Jack and Alex, had decided to build a bar there. Their idea was originally to build a strip club, but that had been shot down almost immediately. They ended up making plans for an alcohol-free bar that they would call All Time Low.

 

Ryan walked up to the edge of the cliff and sat down next to the red-haired angel. “Mikey and Patrick are still with BJA.” There was no response, so Ryan continued, “This is kind of a big thing, Gee. Your brother needs you. He just died--”

 

“He didn’t die, he was murdered.” Gerard cut in.

 

“I know, but what Patrick did, he just…” Ryan didn’t know what to say. He knew Patrick had a deep connection with Pete. Patrick had been dead for six years, and he’d been a GA for half a decade. A relationship between a person and their guardian was frowned upon, unlike romance between angels and demons. They could love each other, and no one would complain. What Patrick did, however, was completely different. “There’s nothing anyone can do to change what happened.”

 

Gerard looked at him apologetically. “I know. And I’m supposed to be happy to see Mikey again, but not like this, and not so soon. I just can’t accept it, you know?”

 

“I know.” Ryan nodded. He left it at that, knowing there was nothing else to say. The two sat there, Gerard with his head on Ryan’s shoulder, until Gerard broke the silence, desperate to get his mind off the situation in the throne room. He knew he’d be called in there eventually, but he refused to think about it for the time being.

 

“You know what we should do? Go to Cloud Nine.” he said, standing up.

 

Ryan looked at him. “You’ve never wanted to go there before.”

 

Gerard shrugged, “Well, there’s no time like the present,” and with that, he jumped off the edge of the cliff.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“Guys, we’re here.” Vic announced as Kellin pulled into Mama Fuentes’ driveway.

 

“No! I wanna know what happens next!” Vega demanded.

 

“On the drive back.” Vic said, knowing full well that the twins would be asleep.

 

Kellin shook his head. “You got them invested in the fandom, awesome. Fanfiction will follow.”

 

Vic smiled. “But until they learn what _ smut  _ is, let them like the book.”

 

“I hate you so much.” Nonetheless, Kellin leaned in for a kiss before exiting the vehicle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, Billie Joe Armstrong is God. you probably know who Satan is, but i like to pretend i have the element of surprise on my side.
> 
> okay, the Peterick vs. Petekey subplot? i know, it’s fucking weird. but it makes sense to the main plot, i promise. personally, i don't ship either of them, so they're not in the relationship tags, and i probably won't continue to write either of them unless it's necessary to the story.
> 
> yes, Jack and Alex building a strip club was a ‘Dear Maria Count Me In’ reference, but did you guys catch the Pierce The Veil reference?
> 
> give me comments, give me kudos, i’ll take it all. follow me on Tumblr, my username is emotionaltrinityfreak.
> 
> -Vinnie


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bar called All Time Low.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to apologize for the mess that was the last chapter.

The day had come and gone, and while they were absolutely exhausted, Joey and Vega were adamant that Vic continued the tale.

 

“You guys are barely awake. If I tell you anything, you won’t remember it tomorrow.” Vic said.

 

“But we wanna know what happens on Cloud Nine!” Vega yelled.

 

Kellin turned to Vic as he started the car. “She remembers things from the story now. Great job.”

 

Vic nodded. “We’re raising a fangirl.” 

 

“No! Absolutely not!” Kellin refused to consider it.

 

“I wanna be a fangirl!” Vega interjected.

 

“As you wish…” Vic started, and the story picked up where he’d left it.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

**Previously on: Storyteller Extraordinaire:**

 

_ ‘Gerard shrugged, “Well, there’s no time like the present,” and with that, he jumped off the edge of the cliff.’ _

_ \-- _

Ryan was quick to follow suit. He stood up, and simply let himself fall. It was a rather interesting sensation, as he could feel not only the wind rushing around him, but also the matter around him. Contrary to what many believed, heaven wasn’t a land of clouds. It was actually a place like any other, everything just happened to be in lighter tones.

 

Angels and souls were completely different beings. A soul was nothing but dead, while an angel was essentially a living being, they just lived in heaven. They were held on a higher pedestal. GAs and regular angels were essentially the same, GAs just made trips to the living world more often.

 

Cloud Nine was an angel-only zone, but since the bar was under construction, the only angels there were Jack and Alex, the owners, who had gotten God to provide them with a building. They were just painting the walls, and setting up the bar. At this point, all that was needed was some lighting, and All Time Low would be complete.

 

Ryan landed on the platform of light without feeling the impact. He scanned the scene and saw a dark building with purple accents. Despite the color scheme, it wasn’t very ominous, it looked like a rather nice place.

 

Gerard was already there, observing his surroundings. “I always thought this place would look different.” he noted.

 

“Hi!” a voice called out from behind him. They turned to find two boys waving them over to a plastic table where they sat. “I’m Jack,” the taller one introduced himself.

 

“I’m Alex.” the other stated.

 

Gerard nodded, “You’re the guys who tried to build a strip club, right?”

 

“Yeah… you’re the angel whose brother got killed by a GA! Gerard, right?” Jack blurted out.

 

“Jack! Don’t say that.” Alex reprimanded. 

 

Jack looked down, “Sorry.”

 

Gerard shrugged. “That’s me.”

 

“We don’t have to talk about it…” Alex reassured him. He turned to Ryan. “You’re Ryan, the Head Guardian Angel, right?”

 

Ryan nodded in response.

 

“Cool. Sit down, join us, we’re just taking a break.” Alex gestured to the extra chairs around the table.

\--

After about an hour or so of conversation, Ryan was summoned back to the throne room. The four had been discussing topics from tastes in music to causes of death. The way in one died wasn’t a very private thing, and beings often shared stories of their passings.

 

Jack and Alex had died in 1834, having been hanged for their homosexuality. They’d stayed together in death. When looking at them, one would see two teenagers straight out of the 2000s. Heaven and hell worked a lot like the world of the living. They evolved over time. 

 

Ryan had begun fading into a soft green light just as Alex was was describing the fear that came with the invention of the lawn mower in 1830. 

 

“I’m serious. My mother was convinced that they’d come to life and run us over in the middle of the night. Sooner or later, all our neighbors had one, and she refused to leave the house… Ryan, you’re fading.” he noted.

 

Ryan turned to Gerard. “Everything is going to be fine, Gee.”

 

Gerard sighed, “If you say so.”

\--

When he materialized in the throne room, he realized that it looked like more of an office. The throne was now  pushed into the corner, and Mike and Tré’s desk was now on the far wall. There was a long conference table in the center of the room. Billie Joe sat at the head of the table, with Patrick and Mikey on either side of him. Patrick looked absolutely terrified, as though he was anticipating the worst. Mikey looked as though he were on the verge of a mental breakdown. Ryan evaluated his expression as shock. For the first hour or so of death, spirits were quite calm, but the reality of the situation soon dawned on them.

 

“Ryan, hi. Sit down.” God began. “We have no fucking clue what to do.”

 

Ryan laughed at the bluntness, taking a seat. “No fucking clue? You have absolutely no idea?”

 

“Nope. And even if I had an idea, I couldn’t carry it out. I’d need Satan’s opinion.” this was true. The higher power couldn’t make any large-scale decisions without both God and Satan’s opinions. “If I want to do anything major, I need him to be okay with it. That’s why I can’t stop world hunger, or submerge all of Australia.” the deity explained.

 

“Have you ever  _ tried  _ to submerge all of Australia?” Ryan asked in disbelief.

 

Billie Joe sighed, “There was a brief period of time when it seemed necessary.”

 

“And Satan stopped you.” Ryan considered this, “He saved twenty-four million people by keeping Australia above water, but won’t agree to stop starvation? I mean, he’s Satan, that’s what he does, but really?”

 

“Well…” God began, “He didn’t really… you’ll find out soon enough.”

 

Ryan shook his head, amused at Billie Joe’s sudden defensiveness of his supposed rival deity. “Sure. So, I guess you’re taking a trip to hell?” 

 

Billie Joe shook his head, “Actually, Ryan that’s why I called you here.  _ You’re  _ taking a trip to hell.”

 

Patrick made a noise that was a bit of a snort, and a bit of a squeal. He looked absolutely relieved. “I’m not going to hell?”

 

“We don’t know that yet, we have to take it up with Satan. I don’t really feel like going all the way down there right now, and besides Tré and Mike, Ryan is the only one qualified.” Billie Joe explained. 

 

Ryan’s eyes widened. “If Mike and Tré can go, why don’t you send them?” he asked this cautiously, trying to make it seem as though he were simply inquiring, and not trying to find a way out of the situation. He had no issue with leaving heaven, he did so all the time, but he certainly didn’t want to go to its polar opposite. As far as he knew, hell was a horrible place full of the most morally wrong spirits there were. There, the dead turned into demons, and the demons, in turn, corrupted the living.

 

“I don’t feel like sending them,” the deity waved off his question, “And even if I did, they probably don’t want to go.”

 

“But what if I don’t want to go!?” Ryan asked incredulously.

 

“Yeah, what if he doesn’t want to go?” the two secretaries took Ryan’s side, “Don’t be an ass.”

 

Billie Joe span in his chair, turning to face them. “He has to find out eventually, guys. I can’t just tell him, and he can’t go around not knowing.”

 

“What do I need to know, and why can’t you just tell me?” Ryan interjected. “Is there some huge-ass secret about hell that only the three of you know?”

 

Billie joe turned back around. “Yes, actually, there’s a huge-ass secret, one that only Satan can convey through words.”

 

“What does that even mean?” Ryan asked.

 

God chose to ignore that question. “Be back tomorrow morning, I’ll explain the rest then.” With that, he pointed at the door, Ryan taking his cue to leave.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Vic stopped there, noticing that Joey and Vega were barely awake.

 

“So, Ryan gets his instructions next, right?” Kellin asked.

 

“You remember the story?” Vic asked, smirking. 

 

“How could I forget it? This franchise has haunted me for two fucking years.” he muttered the word ‘fucking’ under his breath, for fear of corrupting the children in the backseat.

 

Vic feigned shock. “Watch your profanity, you could corrupt our children!”

 

“You’re such an ass.” this time, Kellin spoke a bit louder, sensitive ears be damned.

 

In the back of the vehicle, Joey stirred. “What’s an ass?”

 

Kellin’s eyes widened as Vic bursted into a fit of laughter. “It’s nothing! Go back to sleep!”

 

“It’s not important, kid. We’ll be home soon, go back to bed.” Vic said, still shaking with laughter. He put his focus back onto his husband. “Kellin, you’ve corrupted our son! And you’re against me telling them this story?”

 

“I hate you, you stupid fountain.” 

 

Vic stared at the road in confusion, then made the connection. “Oh my  _ God _ , Kellin!  _ Fountain!? _ Seriously?”

 

Kellin grinned. Although he was focusing on the road, he could practically  _ see  _ the bewildered look on Vic’s face. “Next time your mother asks why you didn’t marry a Spanish-speaking guy, I’ll be prepared.”

 

Vic smiled, “I’d choose you over a Spanish-speaking guy any day.”

 

“I wouldn’t.” Kellin scoffed. “Santiago from  _ ‘¿Dónde está Elisa?’  _ is hot.”

 

“Let me be romantic, dammit!” Vic pouted.

 

“You are a child.” Kellin announced, placing his hand on Vic’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> about the ‘stupid fountain’ thing, i take Spanish classes, and apparently, ‘fuente’ means ‘fountain’. Vic Fuentes is a fountain.
> 
> ‘¿Dónde está Elisa?’ was a telenovela that aired in 2010. it was good.
> 
> Ryan is on a mission, and you’ll meet Satan shortly.
> 
> give me comments, give me kudos, i’ll take it all. Follow me on Tumblr, my username is emotionaltrinityfreak.
> 
> -Vinnie


End file.
